Pono Time For CCTIRHA Zoo

Maui and Sons Dominate at The Third Annual CCTIRHA Rodeo on Big I.

There are many events ongoing here at Starkey Ranch on the big island throughout le Equestrinox.  The event that has garnered the most attention from the spectators this year is the CCTIRHA round up.  The CCTIRHA rodeo has just concluded with Maui and Sons claiming victory.  Fortunately for our readers the Rrupt has a correspondent on site at the event, let's check in with him now:

P.R. - Big Frog are you there? Come in Big Frog.

B.F.- There are so many Flys here!

P.R. - Listen Frog we need you to concentrate, you're supposed to be reporting on the event.

B.F.- But you're not here, you don't understand! The Flys are EVERYWHERE! It's like heaven!

P.R. - Frog, there are gonna be Flys, it's just because of all the horsies, you're at a rodeo remember? 

B.F. - (mouth wide open)

P.R. - lucky for us we strapped a digital recorder to the Frog before sending him to Big I. Let's take a listen.

Event MC:  Welcome ladies and gentlemen.   Thank you everyone for showing up to the world's most famous
Equestrinox and a special thanks to all our sponsored guests under the gazebo.

Loud cheers from everywhere. Some parade style hand waiving could be seen coming from the shade of the gazebo.

P.R.- It's a beautiful day here and families are walking around to all the different booths learning about CCTIRHA culture.   At one booth you can have your picture taken with a CCTIRHA and at another one you can watch as a local rancher demonstrates how to build affordable CCTIRHA stables out of 2x4's and black cloth.

Rancher TAO: OK kids next thing you gotta stretch that black cloth on down to that next 2x4. And then wrap around the corner to the next one ya. Everyting is right angles ya? Just make a big cube and on to the next one.   If it's not a veiled cube then you'll never get a CCTIRHA out of it.  That's good Kaho just staple it down, whatever it takes.  Ok, now this is just what the CCTIRHA love, black cubes everywhere!

P.R.- At other booths the spectators learn how to milk a CCTIRHA.  Everyone that sits through the entire demonstration gets a pint off CCTIRHA milk to take home with them.  Strategically the next booth over is selling Styrofoam coolers made out of pink goop and selling ice made from Kula water.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/rcna100806

P.R.- At another booth the Keiki are playing 'pin the tail on the CCTIRHA'. It looks like one of the kids, Hoku, must have been homeschooled.

Hoku: This game is unrealistic, no one has ever pinned ANYTHING on a CCTIRHA.

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://www.dni.gov/files/ODNI/documents/assessments/NIE_Climate_Change_and_National_Security.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwj2ypXkzryBAxUKMDQIHfyRAmsQFnoECDAQAQ&usg=AOvVaw3Av85aVqiwsDDzyelIcVq8

Event MC: Everyone remembers the rules ya? The CCTHIRA, they got no rules bruh.   And the wranglers gotta hook dem little guys any way dey can ya! OK next up, it's all da sons of Maui in one place on the big I, what a sight to see. 

P.R. - The sons are on the field, waiting for the warden to release the CCTIRHA:

Lanai is just looking into a mirror, yawning.

Kaho’olawe is rolling on the ground clutching his private parts "it hurts, uncle!"

https://www.hawaiinewsnow.com/story/37604472/the-bombing-of-kahoolawe-went-on-for-decades-clean-up-will-take-generations/

Molokini is sunning himself.

Moloka’i is just laying there blocking everyone's view.

P.R.- The warden opens the gate and sends the CCTIRHA out onto the field. The sons jump on their horsies and pursue the flock (or is it a murder?).

Event M.C.- There they go! Those CCTIRHA beta gonna run for dey lives! Ha ha ha.

Under the gazebo the special guests were all socializing.   Some were placing bets while others enjoyed imported water from Fiji.  One of the released CCTIRHA had found is way over to the gazebo.   It walked right over to where Dr. Malone was sitting and started rubbing its nose on his ankle.   May-Day Malone was telling a story but he deftly bent down and picked up the CCTIRHA and put it on his lap without missing a beat.  Robot Kennedy jr. was sitting across from him listening intently. 

M.D.M.- Say Robot, did I ever tell you about the time that I was hanging out with the queen on her yacht in the Med?  No I mean the Atlantix?  We were drinking dos equis and throwing darts at a map.

R.K.J.-  HA....HA...
...YOU...ARE...SO...FUNNY...ROBERT...
....THAT....STORY....IS...
...GUELPHTAKULAR...
....UNDERSCORE....UNDERSCORE...UNDERSCORE...UNDERSCORE...UNDERSCORE...UNDERSCORE...UNDERSCORE...UNDERSCORE...UNDERSCORE...UNDERSCORE..

Oprah: Hey Robot, did you know that Robert won the Rodeo last year?

Dave- He actually won on a technicality.  He was on his little horsie trotting across the field, filming a dos equis commercial when a CCTIRHA ran out in front of him.  He fell off his horse and broke the little CCTIRHA's neck.  Then he took the CCTIRHA back to his lab, took some samples and cultured them in VERO-E7 BAT substrate.

Event M.C.- Those guys are slippery kids be careful out there! Oh, there goes Lanai, he's got one under his arm.  Oops, it got away. 

Moloka’i- lani, you have to hold them tight like this.

P.R.- Moloka’i stretches out his long arm an puts two CCTIRHA in a headlock.  They squirm and squirm but can't escape.  Just then a horrible screeching sound could be heard coming from above.   A swarm of CCTIRHA flew down out of the sky and attacked the sons.

Moloka’i- Ouch! They bit me! Why they have sharp teeth and wings!!!?

Dave- So then a couple months after he started culturing the CCTIRHA sample, Robert sent the product to DARPA and had them do a small scale batch.   I wrote up the IP.

Event M.C.- Oh now what is this we got here? This is a surprise after all!

P.R.- at that moment the sky darkened, the wind came onto the field from all directions.  Hats were flying everywhere, skirts and sundresses were flying up. A loud thunder rang out and the earth shook. The ground under his feet split open as Maui landed descending from above.  Maui stood there with arms crossed laughing at EVERYTHING.

Molokini- It's not funny papa, I got kicked in the pehpeh and Kaho got bit.

P.R.- Still laughing Maui reached down and picked up molokini and threw him into the sky like a boomerang.  Twenty Nine CCTIRHA fell from the sky, each making a thump as it hit the ground.

Dave- Technically, if you get bit by a flying CCTIRHA then your blood becomes the intellectual property of uncle Malone over there.  The locals call them "CCTIRHA-DACTYLS".